Drink the feelings dry
by EllinWonderland19
Summary: A girl who has spent her whole life questioning half of her. A father who has answers but denies them. A brother lost for centuries. A town who has been cursed. Kaya, that's what they call her in this new world. Maybe, somewhere along the way, she even became Kaya - but she's still Morgana. She drinks the feelings dry. She remembers. (New experiment! Pairing is still undecided)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there!**

 **This is my first story on Once upon a time. It's just an idea I had watching an episode (not telling you which one, or you'll just guess the** _ **whole**_ **storyline) and I wanted to give it a try.**

 **Unfortunately, I own nothing except my original character Morgana / Kaya, speaking of which, we'll find out more about her in the coming chapters.**

 **I don't know if I should continue this story because it's pretty much an experiment, so any feedback from you guys is more than welcome!**

 **Also, if you're a Game of Thrones fan, I'm also writing a story on that, so... yeah, if you want to take a look at that...? Okay, I obviously do not know how to be subtle, do I?**

 **Okay, folks, I'm finished wasting your time :)**

 **Enjoy the story!**

 **-Ell**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 _You can feel the light start to tremble,_

 _washing what you know out to sea_

It was a sunny day in Storybrooke. Truth be told, sunny days were not rare in the small-but-pretty town, but all the citizens seemed to appreciate it nonetheless.

Walking down the streets, you could see people having breakfast at Granny's, like any other day.

You could see Doctor Hopper walking with his dog Pongo, like any other day.

You could see the Mayor Regina Mills and you could see her son Henry walking to school, like any other day.

You could see Sheriff Graham doing his rounds, like any other day.

All the people in Storybrooke seemed to repeat their actions, everyday, _like always_.

As always, just like clockwork indeed, a girl could be seen walking towards Mr Gold's pawnshop: his adopted daughter, Kaya Faye Fox, who just like every other morning was going to her father's shop to have breakfast with him before going to work.

When she entered the shop, she could hear the small bell ring, but she saw no trace of her father.

"Papa?" she called out. "Papa, are you there?"

"In the back, dearie" answered his voice.

She found him working at his desk, hovering over a cup, almost smiling to himself, which made her smile as well. She sat in front of him, sipping her latte.

"You're in a good mood, aren't you?" she asked.

He lifted his head from his work to look at her, with the smile he reserved just for her. "I am, dearie. You may not know yet, but last night our beloved town has acquired a new presence"

The girl raised her eyebrows, confused. "Well, that is strange, but I didn't think you would be the type to care for new people, papa. Are you turning friendly?" she joked.

Her father rolled his eyes, sighing. "This one is special. Aren't you curious now?"

She kept sipping her latte. "If you want me to know, you'll tell me anyway. If you don't want me to know, you won't tell me no matter how much I ask for it" she calmly reasoned.

"You know me too well, dearie. Back to our matter, though... her name is Emma Swan. She claims to be the natural mother of Henry Mills, but that is not the only relation she has to this city"

"I'm confused, papa... what are you talking about?"

Her father stood up and walked to her, holding to her the cup he was working on earlier. "Drink this. I promise it will all be clear" he just told her.

She stared at the cup for a long moment. She could smell the disgusting stench from there and the greyish colour didn't ease her mind at all, either. She looked up at her father, uncertain. "What is this?" she asked her father, almost afraid.

"Do you trust me?" her father asked in response.

She didn't reply. She took the cup from his hand and drank from it.

For a moment, her mind went completely blank. She could feel nothing. She could think of nothing. She could hear nothing. She could see nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Nothing. She could be _nothing_ , nothing at all. And then, everything came back at once, like water rushing in after breaking a dam. Everything. Everything. All of it. Every colour. Every laugh. Every smile. Every scream. Every moment. Every person. Every part of her. It all came back to her as if it was never really taken from her. She gasped in shock and for a moment all she could feel was her father holding her.

Her father. Her father was there. Her father brought her back. He brought her back, yes, but he had always been there and she had always been there, so, how could he bring her back? Her father. She had to focus on her father. Her father had magic. Where was magic? Did he have magic here? Where was here? Storybrooke, Maine. The new world created by the Queen. No, no, the world created by her father. The Queen's curse. No, no, her father's curse. The curse to find her brother. She had a brother? Yes, she had. But who was she?

She gasped again and she could finally hear her father calling to her, trying to break through the chaos in her mind without further breaking her.

She took a deep breath.

The chaos inside her finally calmed down.

"Papa?" she called, breathless.

Her father held her to him. "I'm here, Morgana. I'm here, dearie. Are you alright?"

"I... I think so, yes. I remember. I remember everything" she said, mostly speaking to herself.

He nodded, taking a step back to look at her. "The moment I heard Miss Swan's name, I remembered... and as soon as I remembered, I knew I had to make you remember, as well"

She stood up and looked around the room. "So this is the famous new world... how many years we've been here, papa?" she asked, now curious.

"28 years. We have spent 28 years here living the same day, doing the same things, day after day"

"But now that the Saviour is here..."

"Now everything will change, yes. The curse is weakening, magic will return soon and all our plans will work out just nicely"

"Everything?" she asked, now suddenly thoughtful.

Her father needed only to look at her, to know what she was hinting at. He walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "First, we will find your brother. Then, I promise to you, we will deal with the issue of your mother. I will tell you everything, all the truth, but in order to do that, first we must help the Saviour break the curse"

She looked up at him, determined. She had waited all her life to know the identity of her mother. Was she here, as well? Did she know her daughter was here? Did she think about her? Did she miss her? Was she looking for her? Those were the questions she had been asking herself all her life, questions her father refused to answer stating she was too young to know, that the truth was hard to face and he didn't want her to be hurt. She had spent all her life questioning half of herself.

A curse would not stop her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again!  
So, this is the first real chapter of the story. This is where the story truly begins and we'll get to know more about Kaya/Morgana.  
We will also understand her "family life" better.  
Small note - in every chapter, there will be a small flashback from Morgana's past in the Enchanted Forest and this is how we will truly understand her better, hopefully.**

 **Last but not least: THANK YOU to everyone who gave this story (and me) a shot. Thank you.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 _I carry the weight of you in my heavy heart  
And the wind is so icy, I am numb  
I carry the weight of you heading back to start  
With a thousand eyes on me, I stumble on  
_

* * *

 _ **The Enchanted Forest**_

 _ **... many years ago**_

Her father was having the time of his life, she could tell you for sure. He was sitting on top of a pile of books, making the big armor attack her with only a flick of his wrist.

The armor kept attacking her with the sword while she tried her best to defend herself, while her father cackled madly, entertained by the scene displaying in front of him.

"Be careful, Morgana, dearie! Hold your sword higher!" he instructed her.

She nodded and tried her best to concentrate, but when the enchanted armor made another move toward her, she lost her footing and fell to the floor.

In a heartbeat, the armor had fallen forgotten and her father was kneeling in front of her. "Morgana?"

"I'm fine, papa, but why do we have to do this?" the six year old asked, now seeming even younger than her real age, her big eyes looking up at him.

He smiled and got closer to her. "Papa will not always be there to save you, my little fox. There are evil people out there, people who would like to hurt you, to hurt me. Do you understand this?"

She nodded, her expression suddenly thoughtful. "I think I do, papa" she answered and the Dark Lord could not help but feel his heart swell at his daughter. True, the Dark magic had taken a lot from him, but it could never take away the love for his children. Both of them. Morgana reminded him so much of Bae, he knew if they met, no, _when_ they met, they would be the best siblings the world had ever seen. He would be truly happy, then.

Focusing then on the task of protecting his youngest child, he turned his attention back to her. "People can never know who you really are, not yet"

"Then when, papa?"

"One day, little fox. One day the world will know" he promised her.

She seemed to think for a minute, quite intense thoughts judging from the frown on her face. "I'm confused, papa. If I always stay here, nobody sees me and nobody knows who I am, so why do I have to do this? Why can't I go play with my new doll?"

 _She truly is a little fox_ , he thought to himself. "One day, dearie, I will have to leave and do something very very important, so that we can find your brother. I will not be with you for a long time, but you will be able to go and explore the world as you wish. You will have many great adventures, you will meet many people... but adventures are for heroes, and true heroes must always know how to defend themselves, don't you agree?"

 _The Dark Lord discussing heroes with his daughter_ , he thought, _could this be any more ironic?_

His daughter though now looked convinced enough to stand up and pick up her sword again. _Well, at least it was worth it. Heroes can turn out to be useful, indeed_.

* * *

 **Storybrooke**

 **Present day**

It was already half past eight when Kaya entered Granny's and, as always, it was full of people who gathered there to enjoy a few beers in good company after work. Regina may have been the Evil Queen, but she did built a nice town where everyone had a strong sense of community, she had to admit. She planned to sit at her usual table waiting for her father, who was supposed to have dinner with her, when she saw Emma Swan sitting on a stool at the counter, all alone.

 _The perfect occasion to get to know her_ , she thought to herself.

She walked closer to her and when she was sure she had the blonde woman's attention, she nodded to the stool beside hers. "Is it occupied already or can I sit here?" she asked, smiling.

Emma studied her for a moment, unaware that the girl in front of her was doing the same. "It's free, you can sit" she finally answered.

 _She's not used to new people. She's guarded. She doesn't trust people easily, no, she doesn't trust anyone at all, I guess_. She held out her hand. "I'm Kaya, by the way. Kaya Faye Fox"

"Emma Swan. You probably already know everything about me, so I'll spare you the tale"

"It's a small town, you cannot really blame people for being curious, especially when the Mayor's son is involved. My father must have told you this"

"Your father?"

"Mr Gold"

Emma immediately raised her eyebrows. "I thought you said your last name is Fox?"

Kaya smirked to herself. "Observant. Mr Gold's my adopted father. When he adopted me, he decided to let me keep my real last name" she explained gently. _An inside joke between us_ , she added then to herself.

Emma nodded, not saying anything, so Kaya decided it was up to herself to keep the conversation going, if she wanted to know more about the woman in front of her. "Anyway, Emma... I'm waiting for my father for dinner. Would you like to join us?"

"I have eaten already"

"Oh. Shame. Then how about you keep me company while I wait and we have a drink?" she proposed, waving over to her friend Ruby, who immediately came to them. "Good evening, pretty lady! What can I get you?" she greeted her, cheerful as always.

"Two beers, please" she asked politely. Emma remained silent.

"Long day at work?" her friend asked. A simple look from Kaya was enough of an answer, so she went to get the beers, leaving Emma and Kaya alone again.

"So, long day at work?" repeated Emma.

Kaya laughed at that. "It's a... it's a joke between us. I'm a doctor, every single day is kind of long. What about you? What do you do back in Boston?"

"I'm good at finding people when they don't want to be found, so that's what I do"

Kaya suddenly slightly turned around and saw her father was entering the diner, so she leaned closer to Emma. "Be careful around the Mayor, Emma. She's powerful and she wants you out of this city. Don't let her win. No one is invincible"

"Why are you telling me this?" asked the blonde woman, warily.

"The people you have to find. Do you always find them?"

"Always"

"Then you'll have no problems figuring out this puzzle" replied Kaya, smiling, before she stood up and left to join her father, leaving behind her a very speechless Saviour.

Later that night, Kaya and Rumplestiltskin were in the basement of their house, working on a potion. Since the arrival of Emma Swan and the return of their memories, they had in fact noticed that small traces of magic were slowly returning to them. It was strange magic, though, fleeting and difficult to control and that was the reason why father and daughter both agreed to investigate and research the matter. None of them wanted to be caught unprepared the moment the curse was broken and if there was one thing they knew, that was it: the curse was going to be broken soon.

"I see you have met Miss Swan, dearie" commented Rumple, stirring the potion they were trying to prepare.

Kaya nodded, adding another ingredient under her father's careful eye. "She's a very interesting woman. I think breaking this curse will be quite entertaining, after all"

"Indeed, dearie, but be careful. Don't be too open about all this, I don't want the Queen after you, not when we don't have magic to protect us. Remember we don't choose sides, we have our own side. The fight between Snow White and the Evil Queen has never been our problem"

Kaya smiled and leaned closer to kiss her father's cheek. "I know, papa, I know. Don't worry. We just need to have the Saviour break this curse, get our power back and get Bae back. Let's just make it... worthwhile for us"

Rumple smiled wickedly and Kaya could almost see a glimpe of the Dark Lord's wicked humour, the one she grew up with. Her father had talked to her about Bae, about her brother, about how he couldn't accept his dark power. She could. She could accept it, because that was the father she grew up with. It wasn't hard to accept him that way, because that was the only way she had ever known him, before Storybrooke. Bae had, instead, grown up with the human version of their father. It must have been difficult for him. He must've been scared of magic. She wondered if he still was. Would he be afraid of her, as well? How ironic it was that the two siblings could be so different.

"You're thinking hard about something, little fox. If you think hard about something, your pretty head will break" said her father, lightly nudging her head with his fingers.

"I was thinking about Bae, papa. You always said he doesn't like magic... and I have magic... what if he doesn't like me?" she asked, insecure.

Rumple smiled. He couldn't count all the times his daughter had those thoughts, ever since she was a child. No matter how grown up she was, she was still his little girl. He just hugged her to him, hoping to reassure her. "Nonsense, little fox. He's your brother and, you know, he had always wanted a little sister. He was such a good boy. Now he must be a very nice man. Kind. Brave. Compassionate. Of course he will love you" concluded the man.

Kaya just smiled, feeling better. She said goodnight to her father and went to her room, a big smile still on her face. She walked to the window. She opened it. She loved to sleep and wake up with the wind sweeping in.

Looking out, she froze.

She could do nothing but standing there. Completely still.

She should have known.

The moment her memories came back... she should have known.

 _She should have known._


	3. Chapter 3

**Good afternoon! (It is afternoon here)  
Here is the next chapter of "Drink the feelings dry" - we will keep getting deeper into the story, see something more of Morgana's past AND... meet a new character.  
As always, thanks to everyone who has read / reviewed / favorited / followed - every notification makes my day, so, yeah - THANK YOU.**

 **I hope you will enjoy the new chapter :)**

 **-Ell**

* * *

They just kept walking through the forest, as they had been doing for days now. The man walking beside her and holding her hand didn't know her true identity and for that she was glad. If there was one thing her father taught her well, it was to never reveal her true identity.

She knew that for people like her and her father, enemies were everywhere… but this time was different. It didn't take long for her to realize that this man was different, that he was a true and honest soul, but she was the daughter of the Dark One. If she told him who she really was, who her father was, would he look at her in the same way? Would he be afraid of her? Would he run from her? And what if in some way, someone would find out as well? She would be putting herself and him in danger. On the other side, what if her father heard about a man travelling with his daughter? He was quite overprotective of her, he would kill him.

No, to her companion she was simply Morgana, a noble girl who had decided to leave her comfortable life to travel the world. She wouldn't change that.

"Thinking of the comforts you have left behind?" her companion asked, his voice full of humour.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, I was thinking about my pretty castle"

He held her hand tighter, bringing her closer. "You shouldn't be in this forest with a huntsman and a wolf. You should be in your pretty castle, as you call it. I can see you, you know? Wearing a beautiful dress, dancing with a handsome prince. Safe and happy"

She stopped walking and looked at him, completely serious. "I am safe and I am happy" she stated.

He sighed, looking almost exasperated. "This is no place for you"

"You didn't complain so much when we first started to travel together"

"That's because I couldn't care less about you, now I do and that means that knowing you are safe is more important than being with you, for me!"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes again. She leaned even closer to him, looking straight in his eyes. "It also means that for me, being with you is more important than going back to my old life. I'm not going back. I'm happy with you, while before… don't misunderstand me, I wasn't unhappy. I'm not going to lie, it's not like I was miserable, but I was never completely happy. There was always something missing. I wanted more than being kept in a castle looking pretty. I found that now" she confessed. "Why are you so intent on sending me away?"

"Because I'm in love with you" he whispered, then he leaned down and kissed her.

It all happened in a second. Her heart filled with complete happiness, while her mind filled with terror. He was in love with her. She was in love with him, too, but she knew they couldn't be together. Well, they were already together, she reasoned with herself, but it was different. They had never talked about love. Caring for each other, yes, but love… love was a different matter.

She knew now.

She had to leave and that was what she would do, but first, she wouldn't deny them a short moment of illusion. "I love you too" she answered.

… _and that's why I'm going to break your heart_ , she finished in her mind.

* * *

The morning after was, quite ironically, a rainy day. When Kaya entered Granny's at 7 a.m. sharp, there was no one as usual. Well, almost no one.

She sat at the counter and ordered her usual coffee, trying to ignore the Sheriff. They had never been that close… well, in this world, at least. There was also the small fact that after having seen him leave the Mayor's house the night before, she didn't really feel like talking to him.

As irony would have it, this morning had to be different. He turned towards her and nodded in greeting. "Good morning, Miss Fox"

"Good morning" she replied, politely, smiling gratefully at Granny when she placed the cup of coffee in front of her.

"It's… early" commented the Sheriff.

"I must be at work in an hour, so… I could say the same about you, though"

"I needed a coffee, I've been having nightmares all night… actually, now that I think about it, you were in most of my dreams. I don't know why. I must sound crazy" he said, looking down at his own cup of coffee.

Kaya looked at him more carefully. He seemed distressed, she could almost see the weight of all his thoughts on his shoulders. No matter how heartbroken she had felt the night before, she felt sad seeing him like that. "Don't worry, I've heard talking about strangers or people we don't know very well can help, sometimes. What did you dream about?" she asked, curious.

"We were in a forest. You and I. I was… I was holding your hand and we were talking. It was strange, though. We had strange clothes, for example. Medieval clothes. The next dream was still about you. There were men dressed in black, they were attacking you… you were hurt… and I remember I wanted to save you"

"Did you?" she asked in a whisper.

"I did. I told you… I told you I would always save you" he confessed, almost embarrassed.

She smiled softly to herself. _He's having flashbacks. He is starting to remember his old life, he feels the thoughts of his old self. He thinks they're just dreams, though. If he tells Regina about them… she will know he's remembering. She will also know he and I used to know each other_ , she thought suddenly panicking. She leaned closer to him and took his hand, surprising him.

"Listen to me. Carefully. Don't tell anyone about these dreams. I cannot explain and I know you don't know me, but you have to trust me. I have to leave now" she explained, before standing up to leave. He stood up as well, he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked, still surprised.

She looked up at him and smiled softly. "You saved me… in your dream, remember? I suppose I owe you a favour. I know it sounds strange, but don't tell anyone about your dreams. They're not just dreams, that I can tell you, but nobody must know about them or both of us will be in danger" she explained, before leaving the diner making sure no one had seen them talking.

* * *

After a long day in the hospital, she was finally going back home. Everything was pretty much the same, they had never had too many people coming in, luckily.

Dr Whale was still trying to take her out on a date, no matter how disastrous the previous ones had been.

Prince Charming though had woken up from his coma and left the hospital in the middle of the night. Considering Graham's dreams as well, this could not be a mere coincidence. She had to talk to her father. Deciding she couldn't wait anymore, not even one more minute, she took out her phone and called him.

As always, he answered right away.

"Morgana? Are you alright?"

"Yes papa, I'm fine"

"Then why are we using this stupid instrument?" he asked. She had to laugh at his hate for technology and modern things in general.

"I need to talk to you, papa… the Prince has woken up, even if he doesn't remember anything at all and the Huntsman, well, he has been having strange dreams… I think, I think they might be flashbacks from his old life"

"Of course, that was to be expected. With the Saviour coming to Storybrooke, the Curse is weakening. Especially now that Miss Swan is working as vice to the Sheriff. I can feel magic coming back to me, stronger every day. Good news, dearie, this is good news. I'm afraid I don't hear your happiness though, is there something you wish to tell me?"

"The Sheriff has confessed to me about his dreams… what if he tells Regina, as well?"

"Why would he talk to her?"

She scoffed at her father's false innocence. "… I know they are sleeping together. I saw them last night. Now, if he tells Regina…"

"If he tells the Queen, he will die"

"How can we help him?" she immediately asked.

"We can't" he replied, now sounding bored. When she remained silent, her father scoffed and she could almost picture him rolling his eyes at his daughter's good heart. "Fine, I'll see what I can do" he conceded. Not that he cared much for the Huntsman, but he knew that his daughter's gentle heart would never allow her to just wash her hands of the Huntsman's life and let him die. She would get involved and she would probably get hurt in the process. He had to avoid that. He had to protect his child.

She smiled. "Thank you, papa" she said before hanging up. She moved towards her car, when she noticed a man had parked his motorbike and now stood leaning against it. She had the impression he was waiting for her, judging by his smile.

She reached her car wanting to leave as fast as she could, but she stopped when she head the stranger laugh, obviously very entertained. She turned around, finding him standing right in front of her, too close for her taste. "Who are you?"

"You don't need to be afraid of me… _Morgana_ "

Her eyes widened and she tried to move away, but the stranger kept her in place holding her arms. "How do you know my name?" she asked, frightened.

"Let's just say I have a special interest in fairytales" he replied, smirking.

She looked at him, uncomfortable at their closeness. "Do I know you?"

"No, we have never met back in the Enchanted Forest… I was a little boy, then. I used to live with my father. Come on, you look smart, you can guess"

"I would say Hansel, but I don't see a sister… besides I have already found those kids" she reasoned. The stranger just nodded, clearly entertained by their little game.

"… I don't know" she admitted, defeated.

The stranger just laughed. "You don't like losing, do you? Alright, you got me, I'll tell you. I'll blame your pretty face for making me give up. You can call me August, that's my name in this land. Back in the Enchanted Forest, though… I was known as Pinocchio" he explained, finally letting her go.

She took a deep breath, suddenly relieved. "I feared you would turn out to be someone evil… well, you have grown up" she commented casually, before realizing her own words. "Wait, you have grown up. How have you grown up?"

August laughed. "I was sent here before the Curse, with the Saviour, but things… well, things didn't work out"

"I see… well, why are you here now?" she asked, intrigued.

He smirked. "You want to break the Curse. So do I"

* * *

Kaya didn't go home that night. She didn't want to look at her father and lie so that he wouldn't find out about her love for the Huntsman. She didn't want to keep lying about every single thing in her life. She had never liked lying, that was one thing that made her different from her father.

So she had stopped with her car at the supermarket, bought a bottle of vodka and stopped at the edge of the woods to drink it by herself.

So far, she wasn't liking it. She had never been one for drinking, even in the Enchanted Forest and here, well, she was a doctor. She knew better than most the bad effects of drinking.

Right now though, she didn't care. She just wanted to keep crying and drinking, drinking and crying, at least until she would forget her heartbreak.

Graham was sleeping with Regina. She knew his heart had been taken away, she had heard about it, but that only meant he wasn't in love with the Evil Queen. Attraction was another matter.

"He doesn't have his heart, little fox"

She turned around in a swift movement, seeing her father limping towards her. When she opened her mouth to say something, he just hugged her and held her tight.

"Don't say anything" he just said.

"How did you know-?" she asked, sobbing against her father's coat.

"How did I know that you were here? Because I know you, you're my daughter and that means that no matter how grown up you are, I know that you want to be alone when you're sad. How did I know that you were sad? Because I am your father and I can almost see your heart broken as you stand right in front of me. How did I know that your heart is broken over the Sheriff? Honestly, little fox, you think that I've never kept an eye on you when you left the Dark Castle to explore the world?" her father explained, caressing her hair.

"All this time… you always knew…" she kept sobbing, though she was relieved she didn't have to explain everything to her father.

"I always knew where you were, with whom, what you were doing. I watched you fall in love with the Huntsman, I watched you running away from him. You looked happy with him"

"I was happy. Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me that you knew? All this time I fooled myself into thinking that I could be able to keep secrets from you… what a fool"

"You're not a fool, dearie, but keeping secrets from me is not easy… especially when you're my daughter. As you may have noticed, I'm quite overprotective of my child" he joked, wiping her eyes from the tears.

She laughed, still sobbing. "I think I may have noticed"

"Yes?"

"Just a bit, papa"

"I also know that you have met Pinocchio. So the wooden boy wants to work with you"

"Are you angry, papa?"

"Quite the contrary, little fox, quite the contrary. I think he could be useful to us, but if you want to keep things secret, you have much to learn. Now let's go home"


End file.
